First off, screenwriter and debuting novelist Allison Burnett is a man. Or, as “he” says rather clinically in an article on Mediabistro today, "I am male." So let's just be mature and get past that, shall we?
The issue at hand is that B. K. Troop, the narrator of Burnett's novel, Christopher, is an older gay man predating (unsuccessfully) on a clueless, straight, young mimbo. The book has gotten lots of good reviews, particularly in the gay press. Burnett's wee dilemma is that despite what many reviewers, interviewers, and even his editor all assumed, he is not, in fact, gay. Rather than bite the various hands attempting to at feed or at least pet him, he sort of goes along with it for awhile. His interactions with his gay but gaydar-impaired editor are particularly amusing:
The awkwardness, however, began during our very first phone call, when my editor asked me what I thought of the novel Fag Hag. He was stunned that I had never heard of it. Weeks later, there was an equally tense moment when I confessed that I had never watched an episode of The Golden Girls. In midsummer, I was nearly busted when I let slip my passion for the Cleveland Indians. His incredulity was fierce, and it wasn't based on the Tribe's lousy record; he just thought baseball "trashy." ... I casually mentioned an actor I had met. "Oh, I love him," my editor said. "Is he one of us?" A long silence. "I have something to tell you," I sighed.
Caught between two worlds! Finally eschewing his sexually indeterminate existence--both gay and straight and yet, somehow, neither!--Burnett finally comes clean (ahem) about his lack of queeritude, and all is embarrassed sweetness and light. He might have lost some gay-lit cred, but as one Amazon reviewer put it, "Frustrated homosexuals will find this book to be both poignant as well as a spotlight on their soul." Frustrated heterosexuals will just go watch Chasing Amy again, I suppose. Or they could choose among Burnett's screenwriting samples, such as weepie-washee Autumn in New York, about a nobly rotten Richard Gere predating on a mortally nubile Winona Ryder; or the extremely non-gay Bloodfist III: Forced to Fight, about kickboxer Don “The Dragon” Wilson predating on convicts with nicknames like “Leadbottom” and “Sugarfoot.”
Final lesson: It’s OK if you’re not gay! Not that there’s anything not wrong with that.
legal memo to counsel:
posts about writers who happen to have the same name as ex-girlfriend are permissible given that said writer is male.
cc:KB/clm
Posted by: s.h. | June 09, 2004 at 02:27 PM
errata: obviously the cc: was intended for LB, not KB. alternately, ignoring both memos is acceptable.
Posted by: s.h. | June 09, 2004 at 02:32 PM
chuckle ... I'll keep that in mind, though I'm confused as to what counsel is being addressed, and by whom, if Lisa and I are just being cc'd on the matter. This is just like that episode of the Golden Girls ...
Posted by: chris m | June 09, 2004 at 02:44 PM
Both memos duly noted whether or not they were to me as counsel. Chris, just so you know, I was not going to tell anyone that you watched the Golden Girls.
Posted by: LB | June 09, 2004 at 04:37 PM
I want to know why Chris was Googling "Allison" and "gay."
Posted by: Enrique Bana | June 09, 2004 at 05:24 PM
Actually, I believe my search terms were "gay" "golden" "Indian" and "bloodfist."
Posted by: chris m | June 09, 2004 at 05:43 PM